On Sunday we had a special Marriage Q&A session with Terry Ewing from Plumbline Ministries. You can listen to those questions and answers here. During the message people submitted questions via text messaging. Due to time constraints we were unable to answer some of the questions. Below are the questions and answers we didn’t have time for on Sunday.

• Is it OK for your spouse to have lunch with a co-worker alone?

It’s not a sin to eat lunch with someone of the opposite sex. However, having lunch or being alone with a member of the opposite sex is never a good idea. Some people may think that’s paranoid. I call it safe. The closer you get to the line, the easier it is to cross it. My advice is to stay as far away from the line as possible.

• Why when I try to open up all we do is fight?

When you open up to your spouse you should always follow 3 guidelines. Remain calm, cool, and collected. Remember, there’s nothing wrong with fighting. However, you should always fight fair. For more insight on how to fight fair check out the video blog “Fighting Fair.”

• Our relationship has lost it’s moral value through God. How do we keep it in check?

Every relationship and person has the potential to wander from God. Just as every marriage takes work, so does our personal relationship with God. If you are not taking time daily to pray and read the Word you will wander (Psalm 1). Also, you should take time as a couple to pray together, read the Bible together, talk about God together, and go to church together. Do you have other couples, that are Christ followers, that you hang out with? That’s vital to your spiritual health. We grow in relationship with God by being in relationship with God’s people.

• What do you do if the child dictates the relationship?

Children are a blessing from God. However, they can quickly crowd out your relationship with your spouse. Your children should always know they are valued and loved.  But, they must also understand that your relationship to your spouse is #1. Some practical things you can do: Create a “mom and dad time.” If you and your spouse are talking or spending time together and your child interupts, let them know you are having “mom and dad time.” Also, set a consistent bed time. The earlier the better (don’t wait until 10 or 10:30). This will give you and your spouse time together each evening. Finally, once a week have a date night with your spouse.

• Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Where is the line between loving  your spouse and idolizing them over Christ?

Nothing should be more important than  your relationship with Jesus Christ. You should look to God for approval and self-worth, not your spouse. Expecting your spouse to meet all your needs and desires is unrealistic and unhealthy. For more on putting Christ first listen to the message “Happily Ever After.”

• How long is a woman minute and is it shorter than a football minute? (This is my favorite question :)

I don’t know and no.